We sat debating the etiquette of the internet second date. After that first (awkward) date-less date, there are really only two scenarios: A) you want to see him again, B) you don’t.
We were semi-unanimous when it came to scene A. Wait a day or so (always give a boy time to marinate in your head), if he hasn’t contacted you, then a simple “Hey X, great meeting you, free for dinner this week?” will suffice. Scene B caused more argument.
Oh, if I’m uninterested, that’s it, I don’t communicate at all.
But what if he emails or texts you? What if he’s interested?
I don’t see how that changes things. I don’t respond. He’ll get the the hint.
Well, I think that’s rude.
This isn’t Ms. Mary’s Etiquette Castle, you had one drink with the guy, no promises were made.
Agreed, but some semblance of decorum must be kept.
So what are you suggesting? I should call him?
No, but if he asks me out and I’m not interested I always respond with “Nice to meet you too, I’ll pass on a second date. Best of luck!”
I’m not being facetious.You are.
I hate this culture of non-response we’ve developed. It’s so childish. What’s wrong with saying no?
Nothing, I just say “No” by not responding.
You’re too damn scared to say “No,” that’s the problem.
I’m not! This is just how people function online.
Well it sucks. Okay? It sucks. The internet is ruining our manners.
Don’t be a prude.
Accompanying our conversation was a towering bundt cake, stuffed with apples and colored with cinnamon. It was the new year, after all, we were each trying to turn over a new leaf with a bite of some biblically inspired sweet. I’ve reigned in my dating response method over the years. I used to feel compelled to give reason for discontinuing the communication. I didn’t feel a spark was the easiest (and vaguest) explanation to give. Now I know the reason is unimportant, let that be my secret. The key to my mental clarity (of which I have precious little) is the release. If someone asks you for something face to face you don’t simply pretend you never heard them and walk away. You say, no thank you.
Dear Online Daters,
Stop ignoring each other and walking away. Learn to say no. Grow a pair, manifest manners.
Too many first dates.
2 ½ pounds Apples (green are best)
Juice of one Lemon
¼ cup Brown Sugar
2 tablespoons Cinnamon
1 ¾ cup Millet Flour
1 ¼ cup Brown Rice Flour
1 ¼ cup Tapioca Flour
3 teaspoons Baking Soda
¾ teaspoon Xanthan Gum
2 ¼ cups Sugar
1 ¾ cups Rice Bran (or other vegetable) Oil
1 cup Water
1 tablespoon Vanilla Extract
1 tablespoon Almond Extract
Heat your oven to 350 degrees.
Peel and core your apples, slice them into small cubes.
Toss apple cubes with lemon juice, brown sugar, and cinnamon. Set aside.
In a small bowl, whisk the millet flour, brown rice flour, tapioca flour, baking soda, and xanthan gum until they are well mixed. Set aside.
In a large bowl whisk the eggs with the sugar until lightened in color and frothy. Add the oil, water, and extracts and whisk to combine.
Stir in the flour mixture until there are no clumps.
Fold the apples into the cake batter.
Pour the batter into a 9-inch tube cake or bundt pan. Bake the cake for one hour or until brown on top and a knife inserted into the middle comes out clean.
Remove and let cool before eating.
Prep. Time: 30 minutes
Baking Time: 1 hour
Yield: 20-25 servings