Side, Snack

Bacon-Wrapped Cheesy Tots

I’m bound to incite some anger with this post, but damn the torpedoes full speed ahead: I cannot support the NFL in any way. I won’t watch games. I won’t buy merchandise. I won’t even bother following the league standings in the news. And if you’re wondering why, let me count the ways:

  1. Their deplorable record on brain trauma

  2. Their negligent attitude toward spousal abuse

  3. Their obvious misogyny in relation to their treatment of cheerleaders

  4. Their collusion to keep Colin Kaepernick out of the league in response to his protest against police brutality toward people of color

And if you have any misgivings about Kaepernick’s protest (i.e., you’ve allowed yourself to believe he’s protesting the national anthem, or that he’s disrespecting our veterans, or that he’s unpatriotic), let me shout it out once more for everyone in the back row: Kaepernick is not protesting the national anthem. He is protesting police brutality that disproportionately affects people of color.

His love-of-country is visible in his actions, only someone committed to the progress of this great nation would risk his reputation to stand up (or kneel) for what he believes in.

Ready for a hard-pivot? Here’s a recipe!

Look, I may not support the NFL in any fashion, but I do love some game-day food. And I don’t need a football game on in the background to enjoy a crispy, chewy, salty, sweet, flavor-bomb like these bacon-wrapped cheesy tots. So turn on your favorite non-NFL game this weekend, make a giant batch of these tots, and relax on the couch. I’ll be doing the same.

Yield: ~70 tots

  • 1 32-ounce Package Frozen Tater Tots (you will have extra, about ⅓ package leftover)

  • 1 block Cheddar Cheese, cut into 1” x ⅓” batons

  • 2 packages Bacon, each slice quartered, cutting once lengthwise, and once widthwise (you should have about 9 full slices per package, or 36-quarters once sliced)

  • ⅓ cup Brown Sugar

  • 2 ½ teaspoons Black Pepper

  • 1 ½ teaspoons Chili Powder


  1. Heat oven to 400˚. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper.

  2. Mix brown sugar with black pepper and chili powder.

  3. Hold one cheese baton to one tater tot, and wrap the two together with bacon. Roll wrapped-tot in sugar/spice mixture. Place on wire rack in baking sheet. Repeat until all tots are wrapped, rolled, and ready.

  4. Bake for 20-25 minutes. Remove from oven, let cool for 5 minutes, then take off wire rack and serve.

  5. Serve with BBK dipping sauce (recipe below)


Yield: 1 cup

  • 1 cup Ketchup

  • 2 tablespoons Molasses

  • 1 tablespoon Smoked Paprika

  • 1 tablespoon Onion Powder

  • 1 ½ teaspoons Mustard Powder

  1. Whisk all ingredients together.