After school snack attack.
(that could be tattooed on my neck)
I live for snacks, this is not news. But, in an effort to spend my afternoons munching on something other than cookies I decided to make granola bars. I used to love them when I was little (I was never little, I was born this way) but somewhere between high school and college they disappeared from my edible lexicon. Flipping through the food files in my head I divided granola bars into two camps-crunchy, crispy, oaty, toasty andsticky, chewy, dense and fruity. I like both but my mouth was spinning up memories of two-to-a-package Nature’s Valley crispy bars in the green wrapping. So it was decided.
This would be a corporate takedown.
I’m all for convenience foods, lord knows I couldn’t possibly make the number of pretzels I consume on a daily basis, but sometimes I have to take things into my own hands. Nature’s Valley granola bars aren’t gluten free (duh), but they also aren’t made with terribly upstanding ingredients. GMO city. Tons of sugar. I can do better.
It took a few batches but the verdict was positive from my panel of judges. Obviously you can spice these up with more cinnamon or toss in chocolate chips and raisins, I was mainly after a standard base. This is the granola bar you can customize. Please do not put Lego pieces in the batter.
There is great power to be had in taking a product off the shelf and reconstructing it in your own kitchen. Granola bars, once a mysterious snackling, are now decoded and hang in my files alongside cookies and cakes. SO, girls, get ready-I want to hear from you. What are you taking off the shelf and making in your kitchen?
Be a corporate food hacker. Decode the crap out of your favorites.
Email your results to firstname.lastname@example.org and I’ll post links to the thrilling takedowns!
Free of Gluten, Dairy, Nuts, Tree Nuts, Processed Sugar, Soy. Vegan.
- 1 1/2 cups+1/3 cup GF Oats
- 1/4 cup Rice Bran Oil
- 3 tablespoons Honey
- 3 tablespoons Palm Sugar (or what you have on hand)
- 2 tablespoons Corn Flour
- 2 tablespoons Water
- 1/2 tablespoon Molasses
- 1/4 teaspoon Salt
- 1/4 teaspoon Baking Soda
- 1/4 teaspoon Cinnamon
- Preheat your oven to 350 degrees and line a cookie sheet with parchment paper.
- In a dry skillet/saute pan toast the oats over medium heat. Shake them around to avoid burning. And feelings of claustrophobia.
- Whisk the remaining ingredients together in a medium bowl.
- When the oats are toasty and warm send 1 1/2 cups into your blender for a short buzz. Pulse on high 5 or 6 times, to chop up the oats and pulverize some into flour.
- Stir the buzzed oats and the remaining 1/3 cup oats into the wet mixture. If it looks too dry you can add a tablespoon of water at a time until it resembles a thick, sticky dough.
- Using a spatula, spread the dough onto the cookie sheet. Flatten it out until it is roughly 1/4 inch thick.
- Bake the flattened granola for 20-25 minutes, or until it is golden all over and just turning brown around the edges.
- Remove the pan from the oven and while still hot, slice into appropriately sized bars. If you are a giant, do not slice at all. This is one granola bar.
- Let the granola bars sit for 5-10 minutes before peeling them off the parchment paper and placing them on a rack to finish their cool down.
- Nature’s Valley? Consider yourself hacked.
Prep. Time: 10 minutes
Baking Time: 20-25 minutes
Yield: ~8 average granola bars